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Episode 60: When Your Parents Complain, The First Problem Is Sometimes Not The Real Problem

I want to tell you a secret about the parents at your school.

Over the last 32 years, I have had thousands of meetings with parents. Many were in my office or on the phone, but some were on the bleachers in the Gym, in the staff parking lot or in the lobby of the school’s auditorium.

My sample size of parent meetings is large. During those thousands of meetings, I have come to realize that, about 25% of the time, the first problem is not the real problem.

In other words, the thing that the parent is complaining about is not actually the thing that they are upset about.

I know what you’re thinking. “Meeting with parents is hard enough! Now you are telling me that 25% of the time I have to figure out what they ACTUALLY want?”

It’s OK, I’ve got you covered. On today’s episode of The Private School Leader Podcast, I am going to:

  • Give 3 Actual Examples Of When This Happened To Me
  • Discuss 3 Obstacles That Are Between You And The Real Problem
  • Reveal 3 Indicators That The Real Problem May Be Hiding Behind The First Problem
  • Give You 8 Strategies To Help You Get To The Real Problem
  • Share Additional Resources That Will Help You

I know that you are super busy, so be sure to listen while you are doing something else. I hope that you will get value from this episode as you serve and lead your school community. Thank you for taking some time out of your day to listen to the podcast!

Thanks for making a difference,

Mark Minkus

I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having Successful Meetings With Upset Parents. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! You can grab this FREE GUIDE at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/meeting

I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. You can pick up your free guide by going to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/guide

I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. Go to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/parents to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!

Please check out all of the free resources on my website that can help you serve and lead your school community. There are "Plug & Play PD's" (45 minute webinars with guided notes) as well as Top 10 Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books and TED Talks over at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/resources. You can grab the show notes for today's episode at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/episode60

If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1. I would love to take my experience and help you to feel less overwhelmed and frustrated or help you have success if you are a brand new leader. I also work with private school leaders who are aspiring Heads of School and want to accelerate their leadership growth or experienced leaders that are moving on to a new school and they want to get off to a great start. If I’m describing you, then head over to www.theprivateschoolleader.com/coaching to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.

Please write a review of this podcast and help the algorithm push this content out to more leaders. I would love to get your feedback about the podcast, ideas for future episodes and hear about how you are implementing these strategies in your life and at your school. You can email me at [email protected] Thanks!!


I’ve created a FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can grab “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit” at www.theprivateschoolleader.com/lawsuit. Thanks!