Episode 110 Show Notes

Episode 110: The 4 Secrets To Being A Great Leader

Episode 110 Show Notes

CLICK HERE for Episode 95: The 5 Keys To Being A More Visible Leader This Year

CLICK HERE for Episode 43: The transformational power of a hand written note

CLICK HERE for Episode 29: These "3 Little Words" Will Change The Way That You Lead

CLICK HERE for Episode 5: How Servant Leadership can transform your school culture

CLICK HERE for Episode 6: 10 Things that Servant Leaders DO

CLICK HERE for Episode 36: If Nelson Mandela was your Head of School

CLICK HERE for Episode 91: 6 Leadership Lessons From A Shepherd

CLICK HERE for The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader

Big Takeaways:

The 4 Secrets To Being A Great Leader

Tell the truth
Person first, employee second
Listen
Serve

Call to Action

Decide which one of these 4 areas needs the most attention in your leadership and take one action to improve it.

Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.

Are you feeling tired, discouraged and overwhelmed?

Do you ever feel like the pace that you keep is not sustainable?

Does the school tend to invade your weeknights and your weekends?

Do you feel like work-life balance is a myth?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, then I want you to check out THRIVE Academy.

THRIVE Academy is an online course with 39 lessons, over 9 hours of video content, and an 86 page workbook with guided notes, reflection questions, calls to action and more AND you get live office hours on Zoom for the first 6 weeks.

CLICK HERE to learn more about THRIVE Academy!

I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.

George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. CLICK HERE to grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School”.

Do you have any difficult teachers at your school? Of course you do. We ALL do!

They take up a lot of our time and emotional energy.

Well, I have created a new resource to help you with your difficult teachers.

It is called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers.

These strategies will give you a step by step game plan to help improve the performance and attitude of your difficult teachers.

Sound good to you? CLICK HERE to grab this free guide!

I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having Successful Meetings With Upset Parents. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! CLICK HERE to get the guide!!

I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. CLICK HERE to get the guide!

I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. CLICK HERE to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!

I’ve created another FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can CLICK HERE to get “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. Thanks!

If you implement any of these strategies at your school, I would love to hear from you! Send me a quick note at [email protected] and tell me about it. I can answer your questions and I’m also good at giving pep talks when you get stuck!

If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1. I would love to take my experience and help you to feel less overwhelmed and frustrated or help you have success if you are a brand new leader. I also work with private school leaders who are aspiring Heads of School and want to accelerate their leadership growth or experienced leaders that are moving on to a new school and they want to get off to a great start. If I’m describing you, then CLICK HERE to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.

CLICK HERE for a bunch of free resources, including Plug & Play PD's (video webinars with guided notes) for you to use with your teachers, Top Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books, TED Talks and much more!

Please follow, rate and review this podcast. The rating helps this podcast to be heard by more leaders and your review gives me valuable feedback so that I can better serve you in future episodes. If you got value from this episode, please text the link to an aspiring leader at your school. Thanks!

Music by Twisterium from Pixabay

TRANSCRIPT:

Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and lead their schools. I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that. Right here on the Private School Leader podcast. I'm, um, your host, Mark Minkus. • • • So being a great leader • is actually pretty straightforward. • • • Now, it's not easy. • • • It is a lot of hard work • • day after day to be a great leader. • • But • • being a leader • • is actually being a great leader. Excuse me, is actually pretty straightforward. And, you know, some people think • • • that leaders are born • • • and not made that, you know, you have to be born a leader. • • • Um, I don't believe that. I think that some people are born with certain, you know, tendencies and what have you. But you can be an introvert or an extrovert, or you can be any kind of person • • and be a great leader. • • • And some people think that it's some big secret. • • Well, I don't think it's a secret, but I'll play along. • And on today's episode of the Private School Leader podcast, • • I'm going to share with you the four secrets to being a great leader. • • •

So before we jump into today's topic, • • I want to give you a gift, • a free gift for listening to the podcast, just to say thank you. And this one's called 7 Strategies to Effectively Deal with Difficult Teachers. • • • So at our schools, sometimes we need some courage and some confidence to deal with that, uh, difficult teacher, or teachers, plural. And, you know, what you need is a plan. • • And this is a step by step plan that you can use, and it'll help one of your difficult teachers, hopefully improve their performance and improve their attitude. Does that sound pretty good to you? • • So you can grab this@theprivateschool leader.com Difficult 7 strategies to effectively Deal with Difficult Teachers. You can get [email protected] difficult free for you. Just as a thank you for listening to the podcast, • • • and I'm going to tell you something • • that you already know is true, • • and that is that being a private school leader is a very, very, very difficult job. • • You have to make hundreds of decisions every day. You have to keep everyone safe. • You have to increase enrollment and keep the parents happy and keep the board happy and motivate your teachers and deal with student discipline and beat last year's test scores and come in under budget. And, oh, by the way, when all that's done, • • • • make sure. That you • take good care of yourself and don't be a jerk to your family. • • • • Well, no wonder • • a lot of private school leaders are feeling tired and discouraged and stressed out. I know. I've been there. • • • And, uh, at the beginning of every episode, I say that I believe that it is possible for you to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. • • And I have to ask you, • • do you want to do this for a long time? Do you feel happy at school? Do you feel fulfilled in your career right now? • • Do you want that? • • • Do you want to go from how you're feeling right now to feeling energized and feeling happy and feeling fulfilled at school? • • • Well, • • I can guide you through that transformation step by step, • strategy by strategy. • • And you can check out my online course called Thrive Academy. • • And basically, what I've learned over the past 33 years • • of how to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader • • is in Thrive Academy. • • So check it out@the privateschoolleader.com thrive to learn more. That's the private school leader.com thrive. • •

All right, • so I'm going to kind of do some air quotes around the word secrets, • • but we're going to talk about the four secrets to being a great leader today. And here they are. Number one, • tell the truth. • • Number two, • • • • • • treat them like people first and employees second. • • • Secret number three is listen. And secret number four is serve. • • • And if you do these four things, • • you will be a great leader. • • • So secret number one is tell the truth. • • • All right, so if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, • and I want to give a shout out to those of you that have been here since the beginning. Here we are in episode 110. • • • Thank you for listening and I hope that you are getting value from this podcast still. • • • But if you've been listening, • • • you know that integrity is really important to me. • • • And if I had to do a power ranking of all of the things that I think are important for you to be an excellent leader, for you to be a great leader, for you to be a transformational leader, • • • • that power ranking, integrity would be first • and then there would be a big drop off to whatever was in second. • • • • • There, in my opinion, is nothing more important than integrity • • for you to be a great leader. • • • • Integrity is the foundation of your leadership. • • And let me give you an example of what I mean. • • • • • • • Back in the summer of 2000, • • • • • our school was building a gymnasium • • • • and it was attached to the school, kind of the back left corner of the camp of the uh, building. • • • • And I'd drive to school every day during the summer • • and there were workers there, but it didn't seem like much was happening over there. • • • • And you know, come back day after day, day after day, and it just looked the same. The work site looked exactly the same, even though they were over there working. • • • • Well, it turns out what they were doing is they were drilling • • • three foot wide • • holes • • • all the way down to the bedrock. • • And then they were putting rebar • • and gravel and concrete and filling those all the way up to the level of the ground of the dirt. • • And I forget, I want to say it was like 33 holes • • and some of them were really deep. Okay? And that takes a long time to • • drill that hole and to get the dirt out and to get the rebar down there and the uh, concrete all the way up to the dirt. • • • • They were doing that. And it took a long time. And that's why when I came to work every day and looked over there, it looked the same because everything that was happening was happening underground. • • • • • • But then one day, all of a sudden, • • there's a metal frame of a metal building there. • • • • And • • every one of those 33 contact points • • for making that metal building sturdy was sitting on • • one of those caissons, one of those concrete tubes • • going all the way down to touch that bedrock. • • • • • And so obviously the analogy is that your leadership • • has to be resting on something • • • solid. • • The foundation has to be rock solid, and the foundation has to be your integrity. • • And there's many ways to display integrity, to be dependable, to be trustworthy, to make ethical decisions. But I think • • that the most important way to show, uh, • • • that you have integrity is to tell the truth. • • • • Because a leader who tells the truth • • • • • creates an environment of trust. • • • • And you know, your staff needs to know that they can rely on you • • • • to be honest with them. • • • • • And telling the truth builds psychological safety. • • • And psychological safety. When you see surveys • • • about workplace, and I don't care what industry it is, corporations, • • • um, • • • • uh, factories, • um, schools, hospitals. • • When you see surveys • • • • of, uh, people saying what • makes a good workplace, • why they stay in certain organizations, • • • • Psychological safety is always at or near the top of that list. • • • • • And you • • • • can help to build psychological safety with your team, with your teachers by telling the truth. • • • • And it's essential for collaboration, it's essential for a positive work culture, you know, transparency, • • • just • • • all of, all of, all of that. And I don't mean just tell the truth with the teachers, I'm telling the truth with the parents, with the board, • telling the truth. • • • And it helps you to overcome that distrust of leadership. • • • • And there are a lot of people • that work for you in your schools, whether it's the teachers, the office staff, the kitchen staff, the custodial staff, the security officers, the bus drivers, • • the coaches, whoever it is. • • • • There are a lot of people • • that come to your organization • • • • and it has nothing to do with you, but they come in the door • • • • with their leadership baggage. • • • And what I mean by that is that they have possibly have, probably have a distrust of leadership in general, • • • • • • • • • and they bring that baggage into the door, in through the door with them when they start working at your school. Because there are a lot of people in authority, in leadership positions that don't tell the truth. • • So let's just think about politicians. • • It doesn't matter what side of the aisle. You know, there are many times where the truth • is not always • • • • • told. • • • • • And then another quick example is, you know, the leader of a college football team, that college football coach that's being pursued by his alma mater to go coach there. And he's like, well, I'm going to be. I'm the coach here and I'm going to be here and I'm focused on this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the next day he's at a press conference at that, at that college saying, you know, with, uh, the new colors and the new gear and, you know, there he's being introduced as the coach. • • • • And so people in authority • in our lives, • • • I'm not saying they always lie to us, but we tend to have a negativity bias and we remember negative things easier than we do positive things. And so I'm just saying that we have to overcome the distrust of leadership in general. And sometimes the leader, uh, the distrust of leadership in particular in your school, or maybe because of your predecessor, whatever the case might be, • • integrity • • • • by telling the truth. • • • And sometimes it's hard, • • • • and it's hard when you feel like, well, you know, if I tell the truth here, I might look bad. • • Or when you feel like you are testing positive for imposter syndrome, • you don't want to tell the truth in that situation • • because it's going to sell you out that you are going to look like you don't know what you're doing, • • • • • or maybe it's just a fear of conflict. You know, I've gone to a meeting before where, you know, it's teachers in that meeting, and I know that I have to talk to them about something and I'm going to get pushback and there's going to be people that disagree with me • • • • • and If I'm in fear of that conflict, then I'm going to be evasive. • • I'm not going to tell the whole truth. It's going to be • • • • something less than telling the truth. And I'll tell you what, when it gets the thing, when I think it's the hardest to tell the truth is when you're under a tremendous amount of stress. • • • • • And as private school leaders, we have all kinds of stress. Stress from home, stress from the board, stress from the admissions office, stress from the finance office, • • um, stress from the parents, stress from the teachers, stress from students who have needs that are going unmet, or maybe they're misbehaving and need consequences. • • • • • • And you're under all that stress, and then you're going to tell the truth. • • • • And the answer is yes, • • because that is one of the ingredients • • of outstanding leadership, is to tell the truth. • • You want to build trust, • • you want to build • • • confidence in you. You want to build a great team, you want to build a great culture. Do you want to improve staff morale? Do you want to increase psychological safety? • • Do you want that kind of a school? Do you want that kind of a team? Do you want that kind of a culture? You need to tell the truth. • • • • •

All right. Secret number two is to treat them like people first and employees second. • • • • • • • • So, you know, in private schools, sometimes our leadership, • • • • • that it's a lot about managing tasks • • and master schedules • • and events • • and student safety • • and labor laws and payroll • • and handbooks and policies • • and facilities • • • • and transportation • • • • • and things like that. Sometimes it's a lot more than that, • • than it is about the relationships. • • • • • But really, at its core, what we do • • • and what matters the most is all about • • relationships. • • • • • And the most powerful way to build • • • • strong, • • trusting, authentic relationships is by treating our teachers and • • • our team as people first • • and as employees second. • • • So let me explain what I mean. • • • First of all, I want to tell you why it's so important. When you treat your teachers, your teams, • • like people, • • • • • it shows that you authentically care • • about them. • Authentically care. • • • • • People get really good at sniffing out a fake. • • • • Our BS meters are finely tuned • • mechanisms. • • • • People know • • if you're full of it, • • • • • if you honestly care about them more as a person than as an employee, it's going to show and they're going to know it. And if it's not true, they're going to know that, too. • • • • • So • • • • • • treating people, treating them like people first and employees second, • • it builds trust, it builds loyalty, it displays servant leadership, it improves your culture, it improves retention, • • it improves collaboration, it reduces burnout. There's a laundry List • • of good reasons, • • good outcomes • • • • • from treating them like people. • • • So how do you do that? Well, let me give you a few suggestions. • • • • • • • • First of all is to acknowledge that they have personal lives. • • • • • These are human beings that are in different seasons of their lives. • • • You might have a teacher in this room • • • who has a little baby at home or a little baby in daycare for the first time. • • • • • And then next door to her is a teacher who has an elderly parent that's in a hospital bed in the middle of their living room. • • • • • Different seasons, • • different responsibilities, • • • • • different • • issues, • • • • • you know, and maybe next to that person's room is • a parent who has a couple of teenagers and they're, um, you know, they're kind of taking a walk on the wild side right now. And it's a lot for that parent. • • • • • • • Maybe next to that person is, um, someone that's getting married in a few weeks. So you get it. They have personal lives. They have things going on in their lives. They have hopes and dreams and fears and struggles and disappointments and celebrations. They're people. • • • • And so one of the things that we can try to do is to provide, • • • uh, flexibility. • • • • • And I know what some of you are thinking. You're like, well, yeah, but flexibility? What about the what about PTO and what about the employee handbook? And what about this and what about that? And I get it. • • • We can't play favorites. We can't have a different set of rules for the person who • • • • is, you know, going through something. Because then maybe sometimes we're worried that the people that aren't going through something • are going to get all bent out of shape. But here's the thing. At some point, everybody's going to go through something. • • • • • • And I think that if we come down like the tyrant with the little black book • • • and provide zero flexibility with our teachers, we're not going to hang on to our teachers. • • • • So we have to use common sense. We have to be reasonable. We have to stay within the, uh, guidelines of the employee handbook. But we can, we can show some grace and show some flexibility here and there. • • • • • • • • They need to leave a little bit early. • • • • Fine. • • • • • Are they leaving early every single day for four weeks in a row? Not fine, • • • • but we need to be open to the flexibility, • • • • • especially when it's situational stuff that they're going through. Okay? • • Another thing we can do to treat them like people • • • first and employees second is to ask, listen, and remember. • • • So, you know, one of the most asked questions in the world is how are you? Or how you doing? • • But I also think that that's one of the Questions that people listen to the answer the least. • • • • • • • • • So you're going to ask them how they're, how they're doing and you're actually going to listen and you're going to use emotional intelligence. And • • • • • you know, they're, they're going to, they're going to tell you, hopefully they're going to tell you what's, what's going on. • • • • • Um, • • you know, if, if one of them • • • • • • • • say you have a teacher named David • • • • • and he tells you that his mom, you know, you asked him how's m. He. Well, I'm kind of stressed out. Why are you stressed out? • • • • Well, my mom's having surgery on Thursday afternoon. Um, you know, I took a half personal day on Thursday afternoon. Um, you know, • • • okay, • • • • • • if you're a religious person, if you're a spiritual person, maybe you say, I'm praying, I'll be praying for her. Or, you know, I'll be thinking about you. You know, you'll be in my thoughts. • • • • • • But you know what you could do? This is what I do and try to do. Um, but I've, I've been doing it for a while and it works. Most of the time is, you know, you walk out of that room, pull out your phone, go to your calendar, put a little appointment with yourself in there for 8am to 8:05am on Friday, • • • • David's mom, or check on David's mom, • • an appointment with yourself. Because on Tuesday at 10:00am when you just asked him, how's it, how's it going? And he told you about his mom's surgery on Thursday afternoon, you're not going to remember. • • • • • But when that little thing comes up on your phone Friday at 8am • • • • • you could either stop by his room or you could shoot him a text and just say, how's your mom? • • • • • • That's treating people like people, that's treating your teachers like people. • • • • • Another way you can do this is to be a visible leader. • • • And by being a visible leader and you're out and about in the school, then what I really strongly recommend, and I try to do this, I try to lay eyes on every teacher that I either supervise or that's in my division. • • Um, • • • I try to lay eyes on them at least once a day. And whether that's at the religious service every morning or during a class change or during the lunch recess block, even if I don't talk to every one of them, I try to see them • • • • • every day and what I'm doing is reading their body language. • • • So I try to talk to everybody every day. But that doesn't happen. But if you can just • • • • make it a point to try • • to see your people, • • • they see you and just uh, I'll link the episode, I did an episode, um, • • on you know, how to be a more visible leader. I'll link that in the show notes@the privateschoolleader.com Episode 110. • • • • • • • • • • Being a visible leader has a laundry list of why that's a good thing. But one of the things about it is that you can be out and about, you can read their body language and then if it's not great, then you can check in with them. • • Another way you can treat your teachers like people • • instead of employees or treat them like people first and employees second is to say thank you and to be specific about what you're thanking them for. Thank you for your help with that • • fifth, um, • grade parent, um, expo. Thank you for an amazing art show. Thank you for • • • working with • • um, • • Samantha after class. I saw you out in the hallway doing that thank you • • show gratitude. • • • •

Another way that we can • • • • • treat our people, treat our teachers like people. • • • Just intentional encouragement • • • • • and then also investing in their well being. • • Um, for example, • you know, I know let's say I have a teacher who's been out sick for a couple days. • They're really behind, • • • • um, stressed out, not, still not feeling great. • • Um, you know, I might stop by to check on them and if I'm reading their body language and they're really not doing great, if I'm going to be outside at recess anyways that day, hey, let me cover your recess duty. You just • • • take a break, catch up. • • • • Um, • • • • or • • • to cover someone's class and maybe you can't. I'm not saying you can be everywhere and you can do it, but you could • • • • you get somebody to do that? I'm not saying all the time, • • • • • but every once in a while • • you're investing in their well being. • • • Actions speak louder than words. We've heard that all our lives. • • • • • • So we're checking in and that's important and that matters. But also every once in a while we're actually doing something tangible • • • to help. • • • • • • And um, I'm a big believer finally in um, • one more way to treat them like people first and teacher second. I'm a big believer in handwritten notes. • • • • Um, very powerful, very rare, rare things are remembered. But it takes a lot of time • • • • and it takes intention • • • and it takes remembering. • • But it also • • • is very, very • • important and it shows a lot about • • you when you do that handwritten note. • • • • So that happens sometimes. Um, for you, maybe it's impossible, but it's something to think about.

Okay, • • • so, and then lastly on this one, you know, um, we want to treat them like people first and teachers second. Even, even when it's hard. And you know when it's hardest is, it's most difficult is when we're really busy and we're really stressed out. • • When we think, well, that's just, that's their job. They just need to do their job. • • • • We get into that mindset, • • • • • their employees first and their people second. That's going to come out in a lot of different ways. • And then, you know, schedule time into your week • for those walk arounds where you're just checking in on people. • You know, a lot of it is the box is checked if you, you know, again, listen to that episode about being a more, um, visible leader. • • • A lot of this overlaps where you can give that intentional encouragement and check on them and • • um, check back with them about how this thing went in their life or what have you. A lot of that happens when you're more visible in your school. • • • • •

Okay, that brings us to secret number three of how to be an outstanding leader. • • • And secret number three is to listen. • • • • And so I know that you listen. You know, I, uh, just think that it's really, really rare • • • for someone to feel like someone listened to them. • • • • • • You know, when was the last time that you felt like someone really listened to you? • • • • • • And so, you know, we know it builds trust and a great culture and • • teacher retention and good morale. Like a lot of the things on this list, check those boxes. • • • • • • • • • But how are you going to be a better listener with your teachers, with your team? • • • • • Well, • • • • • you're going to ask three little, you're going to say three little words. • • • • After they're done answering your question, after they're done talking, after they're done sharing something that you're listening to, you're going to say three little words. In those words. Words are first of all. You say first of all. Well, that sounds really hard • • and I'm sorry that you're going through that. And that sounds like that would be • • really difficult. I can't imagine what that must feel like to not be sure that, • • • um, • • your child is safe when they're • • • in college down in Florida and there's a hurricane coming through, whatever it might be, • • • acknowledge and validate their feelings. And here's the thing, • • up until about a year and a half ago, • • • • • I would just plow into • • • • • unleashing the advice monster • • • • • or • • solving the problem right away. • • • And I was listening with the intent to respond, which is not really listening. And so if we listen • • and then we train ourselves to say, first of all, • • • we're going to listen in a different way because we are going to have to acknowledge and validate their feelings by saying, first of all, • • • we're going to listen differently so that we know what to say. And it's changed the way that I listen. • • And I thought I was a pretty good listener before I started doing that. But like I said, the advice monster or the problem solving, • • um, would come out • • • • and I did an episode on that. Three little words that will change the way that you lead. • • • And I'll link that in the show notes for you as well. • • • • • • Listening sometimes is met with initial resistance from the teacher. • • They give one word answers, • • well, then just ask open ended questions instead of saying, you know, three weeks into the school year, well, do you like the new schedule? • • • • Which begs an answer. That's a yes or no answer. • • • • You could say, well, how's the, how has the new schedule impacted your teaching? That's just one example. You know how to ask open ended questions. • • • • • • We need to get better at tuning out distractions. A way to become a better listener is to be better, to get better at tuning out distractions. • • • • • There's a lot of distractions. We're talking to teachers in the hallway, • • • class change, recess, lunchroom. • • • • It's something we can get better at is tuning out the distractions, listening intently, • • • • saying first of all, responding, making sure that they feel heard, • actually listening. • Um, and we can also be more intentional about picking locations. We don't always have to talk to them during the class change or the, or recess or the lunchroom. If we pop into their room during a prep or you know, talk to them in the copy machine room, what have you. Um, and again, a lot of those are impromptu, but some of those can be intentional, especially when you're checking back with someone about something. You can look at their schedule and see when they're probably either in the copy room or in their, or in their classroom. • • • And then the last thing I'll say on listening is to just be sure that you follow through on what you hear. You know, if you listen • • intently with empathy and you really care about what they have to say, • • • but then there's, and you say, well, you know what, I'm going to do this or that and then there's no follow through, then they, • • that's all going to fall apart, • • • • • not going to feel like they were heard. • • • • • And so we need to listen even when it's hard. And you know when it's hard is when we're busy, we're stressed out, it's noisy. We think, well, they'll be fine, they're tough, they're resilient. • • • • • Well, we're busy and stressed and noisy all the time. • • • • • It's noisy all the time in our school. So it's always going to be hard to be a good listener in our schools. • • But it is something that if we lean into it and we really, really work hard at being a better listener, that it will improve our leadership. • •

And then that brings us to secret number four • on how to be an outstanding leader. And secret number four is to serve. • • • • • At the end of every episode. I say serve first, lead second, and make a difference. • • • So what actually is servant leadership? Well, servant leadership is the opposite of positional leadership. You know, positional, uh, • • leadership is about the title. It's about status and authority and because I said so and it's top down and it's command and control and • • • • people don't like to be led that way. • • • • • • • • • That is the way that people were led for many, many years. And you know, it was basically modeled after the military style of rank and rank and file. • • • And people don't want to be led that way, especially not professionals that are educators • that are doing the important work of educating children and changing lives. • • • • They want to be led by servant leaders. The research supports that. • • • • And so how, how do we, • • how do we lead • and serve? How do we, how do we lead with servant leadership? Well, • if you do the first three things on this list, tell the truth, treat them like people first and employees second, and listen, you're most of the way there. • • • • Throw in some empathy, • • humility, • • • • integrity and authenticity. • • • You're almost all the way there. • • • • • Lead by example • • and show that there's no task that is beneath you. • • • • Get that mop, • get that broom, • • • • get that rag and wipe the tables down. • • • • • Lend a hand. • • • • There's no task that's beneath you. If you're a servant leader, • • • • • be visible, • • be approachable, have a predictable mood. • • • Those are all part of being a servant leader. • • • • • And then just put others needs before your own and provide emotional support. And is it easy? Oh, no, no, no, no. This, uh, in my view, • • it's easy to be a positional leader because you don't care if people follow. They're following out of fear and coercion. • • • • • • • • • • Servant leaders, • • • people follow them. Those are volunteers and not hostages. • • • • • So it's really hard and you know, when it gets really difficult to do, • • to be, um, a servant leader is • • • all the time • • • • consistently displaying servant leadership, I think will be one of the Hardest things that you do as a leader at your private school. • • But it is also one of the most important things to do. And I will link two or three episodes in the show [email protected] Episode 110 that take you step by step • • about servant leadership and how to do it and what it looks like. And I'll take good care of you in the show notes. But the big takeaways from today's episode, • • the four secrets to being an outstanding leader. Secret number one, tell the truth. Number two, • • • see them as people first and employees second. Number three, listen. And number four is serve. And your call to action is to decide which one of these four areas needs the most attention from you in your leadership and then take one action to improve it. • • • • •

All right, so we've been talking about leadership and I have a free resource that I've mentioned before on the podcast. This one's called the six things that every Private School Teacher Wants from Their Leader. • • • • And some of it will be covering some of the same ground that we did on today's episode. But there's also more there. It's a six page PDF. I think it can be a game changer for you. I guarantee you if you do these six things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. • • And you can get that@the privateschool leader.com guide. And that's the six things that every private school teacher wants from their leader. • • • And then, um, another quick reminder is that, you know, um, coaching is all about transformation and all about • helping you solve your biggest problem at school right now. • • And I would love to work with you one on one and help you solve that problem. And so, um, just check that out at the private school leader.com coaching to see more about working with me one on one. • • • And I appreciate you. I am just so grateful that you listen to this podcast. • • And if you get value from it, I would just ask that you would • • share the link with another leader, school leader at your school or anywhere that you know this leader • • and • • an aspiring or rising leader at your school. You know, • • • • there's, there's a lot of current heads of school around North America • • • that are less than 10 years from retirement. And this next generation of school leaders, we need to raise them up. • So when you see that potential, share the podcast with them. • • • And I've been your host, Mark Minkus. I appreciate you so much. All the amazing work that you're doing for the lucky kids and lucky teachers at your school. Thank you for taking some time out of your busy week to join me here today. And I'll see you next time right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.