Episode 116 Show Notes

Episode 116: Answer These 3 Questions To Have A Great Start To 2025

Episode 116 Show Notes

CLICK HERE for your Worksheet, print it out and then fill it out.

Big Takeaways:

Visualize: It’s the last day of school and you are seated at your desk. The school is starting to get quiet as the teachers leave for the day and the kids leave for the summer.

A person that you rarely see at school appears in the doorway of your office and asks, “How are you doing?” You pause to think for a moment and you say, “You know what, we just finished the best school year of my career!” The person standing in front of you says, “Tell me all about it!”

Ask Yourself These 3 Questions:

1. "On the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my job at school?"
2. "On the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my mental health and physical health?"
3. "On the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my relationships with my family?"

Pick two things that you want to work on and schedule them into your calendar daily or weekly.

Reflection:

Schedule a 15 minute, recurring meeting with yourself that happens on Friday afternoon or on the weekend.
Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Spend 5 minutes reflecting on each question.
Celebrate the wins, do course corrections, don’t beat yourself up when it doesn’t happen, get back on track

Call to Action

CLICK HERE for your Worksheet, print it out and then fill it out.

Many of my students and clients use Title II Funds to pay for Coaching, Parent Academy and THRIVE Academy

Is it just me or are the parents at our schools getting more demanding and more intense, more often? Dealing with parents is part of the job as we lead our private schools, but it can quickly lead to stress, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed.

That’s why I created Parent Academy! Now you have a step by step framework that will help you go from feeling stressed and anxious to feeling confident and calm. Over the last 33 years, I have built successful relationships with thousands of parents and I have packaged that knowledge into an online course. Not only that, but after I teach you, I am going to teach your teachers these strategies as well! Parent Academy contains two, 45-minute webinars that are Teacher PD’s with a printable notebook, guided notes and discussion questions. CLICK HERE learn more!

Being a private school leader is a VERY difficult job. You have to make hundreds of decisions every day, and you have to keep everyone safe, increase enrollment, keep the parents happy, keep the board happy, motivate the teachers, deal with student discipline, beat last year’s test scores and come in under budget.

Are you feeling tired, discouraged and overwhelmed?

Do you ever feel like the pace that you keep is not sustainable?

Does the school tend to invade your weeknights and your weekends?

Do you feel like work-life balance is a myth?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, then I want you to check out THRIVE Academy.

THRIVE Academy is an online course with 39 lessons, over 9 hours of video content, and an 86 page workbook with guided notes, reflection questions, calls to action and more AND you get live office hours on Zoom for the first 6 weeks.

CLICK HERE to learn more about THRIVE Academy!

Do you have any difficult teachers at your school? Of course you do. We ALL do!

They take up a lot of our time and emotional energy.

Well, I have created a new resource to help you with your difficult teachers.

It is called 7 Strategies To Effectively Deal With Difficult Teachers.

These strategies will give you a step by step game plan to help improve the performance and attitude of your difficult teachers.

Sound good to you? CLICK HERE to grab this free guide!

I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having Successful Meetings With Upset Parents. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! CLICK HERE to get the guide!!

I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. CLICK HERE to get the guide!

I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. CLICK HERE to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!

I’ve created another FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can CLICK HERE to get “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. Thanks!

If you implement any of these strategies at your school, I would love to hear from you! Send me a quick note at [email protected] and tell me about it. I can answer your questions and I’m also good at giving pep talks when you get stuck!

If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1. I would love to take my experience and help you to feel less overwhelmed and frustrated or help you have success if you are a brand new leader. I also work with private school leaders who are aspiring Heads of School and want to accelerate their leadership growth or experienced leaders that are moving on to a new school and they want to get off to a great start. If I’m describing you, then CLICK HERE to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.

CLICK HERE for a bunch of free resources, including Plug & Play PD's (video webinars with guided notes) for you to use with your teachers, Top Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books, TED Talks and much more!

Please follow, rate and review this podcast. The rating helps this podcast to be heard by more leaders and your review gives me valuable feedback so that I can better serve you in future episodes. If you got value from this episode, please text the link to an aspiring leader at your school. Thanks!

I am excited to share a brand new resource with you. It is a 9 page pdf called: “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School” What is “Verbal Judo”? "Verbal Judo" is a communication strategy that focuses on using words effectively to de-escalate conflict, resolve disputes, and achieve positive outcomes in various interpersonal interactions, particularly in high-pressure situations.

George Thompson and Jerry Jenkins wrote a book called Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art Of Persuasion. So, I have taken several important strategies from the book and applied them to your life as a private school leader. CLICK HERE to grab your free copy of “How To Use Verbal Judo To Have Better Conversations With The Parents At Your School”.

Music by Twisterium from Pixabay

TRANSCRIPT:

• Welcome to the Private School Leader podcast, where private school leaders learn how to thrive and not just survive as they serve and leave their schools. I strongly believe that it is possible to have a long and happy and fulfilling career as a private school leader. And my passion is to help you figure out exactly how to do just that right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And I'm your host, Mark Minkus. • • So if you're listening to this in real time, it's early January, • • and you have just experienced one of the weirdest years. • Excuse me, weirdest weeks of the year. • • And that week • • • is the week between Christmas Day and New Year's Day. It's a pretty weird week. • And, uh, schedules kind of go out the window. And you eat when you're hungry and you sleep when you're tired. And you know, we're, we're very schedule oriented people. Our • lives are pretty well managed and controlled by the school calendar and by the bell schedule. But that all goes out the window in that week between Christmas Day and New Year's Day. • And then also, if you're watching anything on tv, you'll see lots of commercials for gym memberships, • for things that help you quit smoking, • • and big sales at stores on, you know, bins, and things that will help you get organized. And of course, that's all about the new Year. New you, • • um, you know, New Year's resolutions, • • • um, trying to improve yourself and as that calendar flips to January 1st, • that we want to look forward and we want to get it all together and have a great year. • • • • • But I've never really been a big fan of New Year's resolutions. • • Um, I was looking at a recent survey, and it said that about 80% of people • • who make New Year's resolutions are very confident that they will keep them. • • But only about 9% of New Year's resolutions • • • • actually last through the year. • • So with a 91% failure rate, • • new Year's resolutions are pretty hard to keep. • • And so the reason that I'm talking about New Year's resolutions • • • is because • there is still time • for the second half of the school year to be the best, • • to make this the best school year that you've ever had. • And like I said, if you're listening in real time, it's early January • and there is still time. • • • • Even if you're listening to this later than that, there's still time to make this the best year ever, to make 2025, • • uh, a really great year. And certainly to have a great year, you have to get off to a great start. And so, on today's episode of the Private School Leader podcast, • • we are going to answer three questions • • • that will help us have a great start to 2025. • • •

But before we get to that, I want to give you a free gift to say thank you for listening to the podcast. • • And this is called the six Things that Every Private School Teacher Wants from Their Leader. And this guide is a six page PDF that I think can be a real game changer for you. And I guarantee you that if you do these six things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. • • And you can pick up your free guide by going to thepr privatescchoolade leader.com guide to get the six things that every Private School Teacher Wants from their leader. And you may have heard me talk about this guide before on the podcast. Maybe you've even downloaded it before. But I'd encourage you to either go back and look at it again or to download it, because • • • • these six things, you know, since we're in the mindset of starting a year, having a great year, getting 2025 off to a great start, • these six things are really the key to you and your leadership at your school. So check that out. Um, it's there for you for free, and you can download that@the privatescchoolade leader.com • • guide. • • • And, you know, I want to tell you something that you already know, • and that is, is that being a private school leader is a very, very, very, very difficult job. • • • You know, you have to make hundreds of decisions every day and you have to keep everyone safe and increase enrollment and keep the parents happy and keep the board happy and motivate your teachers and keep your teachers and deal with student discipline and • • increase retention and just beat last year's test scores and oh, by the way, • you know, come in under budget and you know, when all that's said and done, then make sure you take care of yourself • • • • • so we know what that leads to. It leads to feeling tired and overwhelmed and discouraged and stressed out. And I've been there. You've heard my story. • • • And you know, at the beginning of every episode, I say that I believe that it is possible for you to have a long and happy and fulfilling careers as a private school leader. And I want to ask you a question. Is that what you want? • • • Do you want to go from • • feeling the way that you felt during the first half of this school year, • • feeling the way that you felt in November and December, just trying to make it to winter break? • • Do you want to go from that to feeling energized and fulfilled and actually looking forward to going to school. • • I know that might sound like a pipe dream, but it is possible. And I can guide you through this transformation step by step, strategy by strategy. • • And if you would, check out the online course called Thrive Academy. • • Everything that I've learned over the past 33 years • • of how to do this, this thing that we do, but how to do it in a way that makes you feel happy and fulfilled and takes good care of yourself and your family. • • • Just check it out over@the privatescgluter.com thrive • • • and it has been, uh, • • • a life changing course for dozens of Thrive Academy students. And I want you to get that same benefit. So check out Thrive Academy over@the privatescgluter.com • • thrive. • •

Okay, so today's episode is all about one thing, • • • and that is ensuring • by the last day of school. You can say, • • that was my best school year ever. You know, if you were to talk to someone on the last day of school, maybe it's a parent, maybe it's a family member that you haven't seen in a while and they ask you, oh, okay, it's around the last day of school. How was your school year? That was the best school year ever. • • • Now, I know what you're thinking. You're like, yeah, right. • Um, um, • • • you know, the first half of the year was not good. • • Well, there's still plenty of time in this school year. • • • And I know that it may feel like, like you're already deep into that grind • • and deep into the school year and you are. But • I, um, need you to trust me here, • • • that there is still time • • • and you have the power • • to make the second half • • of this school year • • • better • • and to make it • • • that you could stop on the last day of school and look back and be like, that was the best school year that I've ever had. • • And so how on earth is that possible? Well, it starts with visualizing a very specific moment. • • And I'll talk about that more in a moment. And then the next step is to ask yourself three very powerful questions • • • and then • • to make sure that those answers are true. • • • And I'm going to take good care of you because, um, I've created a worksheet that will have these three questions on it. • • You can print it out on your printer or on the copy machine • • and just take, • you know, 15 or 20 minutes • • and • answer these questions, jot down some thoughts • • and you will, • • • • uh, • • I'm telling you, this is something that can absolutely change • • • the second half of your school year. So that on the last day of school, • • you can feel like this was the best school year ever. • • So I know that that might be hard to believe, but I'm just asking you to hang in there with me and I will walk you through it. • • • • • So, depending on • • whether you're. Usually most of you listen to this podcast while you're running errands or commuting or working out or doing errands, um, • • • • and walking the dog. Those kinds of things. That's awesome. • Um, • and if there are a few of you • • who • • want to actually have this worksheet • • • while you're doing. While you're listening to the podcast, • • you could go to the privatekoolator.com episode 106, and that will be there for you in the show notes. But most of you will probably just want to listen and then go back and print that out at a point in the future, the near future, hopefully, and then go through and jot some things down on that worksheet.

So I said that the first step is to visualize. So let me tell you what you're going to visualize. I want you to think about this. • • • • It's the last day of school. • • • • The kids have left for the day, the kids have left for the summer. • • • And even though you probably have a couple of teacher PD days left, • • • your teachers have left for the day. • • • And so there's all the excitement, • there's all the relief, there's the feeling tired, • • • there's the feeling good about, you know, we checked that box and we got that school year under our belt. • • • And certainly it's not like your summer has begun, because there's still a lot to do to wrap up the school year. But very specifically, I want you to visualize that you're in your office, you're at your desk, • • • • the school year has just finished, the kids have just left, and the teachers have left, • • • and you're feeling some relief, you're feeling tired. • • • • • Last day of school. So do you have that in your head? • • Okay, so that's what you're visualizing. • • • And then on that last day of school, in that moment, sitting at your desk, you're going to ask yourself • • three questions, • • • • and I'm going to walk you through each of those questions. Now, here's the part that's going to be the thing that makes the difference. • • • • • • We're not going to wait until the last day of school to ask these questions. • • We're going to ask these questions of ourselves today. • • • • And then we're going to do a couple of things • • to make sure that the answers that we give • • today • • are actually true when we ask ourselves this question again • • on the last day of school. • • Okay, so we're kind of getting in our time machine. We're going into the future to the last day of this school year, • asking ourselves these three questions, • • • and then we're going to take a couple of action steps to make sure that these answers are true • when the last day of school actually rolls around. • •

All right, question number one. • On the last day of school, • • how do I want to feel • • about my job • • at school? How do I want to feel • • about my job? • • • • So, you know, this is kind of the foundation of, • • you know, uh, we try not to have it be that our identity is the school. But • • being a private school leader, it's a huge part of our life. And so, you know, we want to connect to things that are meaningful. We want to have a purpose in our life. We want to work hard to make a difference in the lives of kids and teachers and families. • • And so we do. And. And this is a lot of work, but it's also stressful, • • exhausting, and it can be overwhelming. But when you • • look back on the school year, on the last day of school, how do you want to feel about your job? • • • Do you want to feel fulfilled? Do you want to feel proud? Do you want to feel energized by what you accomplished during the school year? Do you want to feel like you made a difference? Do you want to feel like you had a significant impact on your students and on your teachers? • • • Do you want to feel like you grew as a leader? • • Do you want to feel like you were, • • uh, effective in improving the culture at your school? • • • • • • • • What do you want to feel? How do you want to feel • • • • on that last day of school about your work? • • • • Now, I just want to pause and I want to say, you know what, these feelings are possible • • because here's the thing. We. This is obviously aspirational. • • • We want to. We're not going to say, o, uh, I want to feel terrible. I want to feel overwhelmed, burn out, and one step out of the hospital. Of course, that's not what we're going to aspire to do. • • • • • • • • These feelings • • • are aspirational, but these feelings are also possible. But these feelings don't • come true • • • by accident. • • • • • And so to get there, we're going to be intentional. • • You know, this podcast is all about taking action and being intentional. • • • And so every decision you make • • • • now • • and the things that you do between today • • and the last day of school • need to be aligned • • • with the answers to those questions about how you want to feel • • • • so let's, let's talk strategy.

Okay? And I, and I am going to try to keep this simple. • And again, • • • • this will be on the worksheet at the on the show notes. • • And you can work through this and just jot a few things down. But your actionable strategy for question number one • • • is that you're going to pick two things that you want. • • • • • • • So let's say that one thing that you want, you want to get into classrooms more often during the second half of the year. • • • • And the reason I bring that one up is because with my coaching clients and with my Thrive Academy students, I would say that at least 80% • • of school leaders, private school leaders, when I say, • • • • what is the thing that you wish that you could do more of at school? Or, you know, finish this sentence, I really wish I had more time to blank. • • • I'd say it's about 80% that say, I need to get into classrooms more often. Okay, • • • • so you're going to pick two things that you want to be able to say, • • yeah, I got into classrooms more often. That was great. Or maybe I checked email less often. I really got a handle on my, • um, email inbox. And you're like, yeah, right. Well, I'll link in the show notes. A recent episode called • your email inbox is a chronological list of everyone else's priorities. • • And it gives you some strategies as to how to get in in, you know, in control of your email inbox. • Maybe you think back on the • • second, uh, • • half of the school year and you think, well, I want to improve the culture. • • • I, uh, want to hang on to my teachers. I want to • • follow through with parents with more courage and consistency because I've been really letting that sl clip. • • • So the key here is to not get a long list, • • but to just pick two, • because I think if you pick more than two, it becomes overwhelming and it's very unlikely that it's going to happen. • • • • And so let's say • that you pick that. One of the ones that you pick is, I want to get into classrooms more often. So step one is to pick two things. Step two is to schedule it. • • • • • • So what do I mean by schedule it? Well, we have good intentions, • • but if we don't schedule our good intentions, they are never going to happen. • • And so if you want to get into classrooms more often, • • you have to put it into your calendar as an appointment with yourself • • and then treat that appointment like it was a doctor's appointment that took you six months to get. • • Treat that appointment like it is the most important, • • • uh, donor, uh, to Your school • that is coming to the school to meet with you to talk about a gift to the school. • • • • • So if you • • • • • • • have these, • • • um, ideas in your head and you have these actionable strategies, • then you're going to be able to, • • um, just pick, like I said, pick one or two of these strategies • • and schedule it into your calendar and then, you know, treat it with the importance that it deserves. • • And a quick example of getting into classrooms. I've mentioned it before on the podcast. What I do is once a week I have an hour where it says pop ins • • on my calendar. • • And in charge, being in charge of fourth through eighth grade, • I • • go to, • uh, I have, uh, fourth, three, eighth grade, and I have two sections, two homerooms per grade. So that means my students are in 10 different locations at any given time. • And so let's say it's Wednesday, third period, and you know, all of my students are on the second, third or fourth floor in the building. And I'll go up to the fourth floor and I'll go to either the gym or the music room or whatever and just find a group of my students. And then I stay for five minutes and I interact and I, um, um, you know, • um, just enjoy being there and um, um, finding out what they're doing and just being in that room. As soon as that five minutes are out, boom, I'm on to the next room. And so five minutes per room, 10 locations for my kids, • • that's 50 minutes. And then build in a few minutes for traveling between rooms. And that's the hour. And so I've accomplished popping in, • um, being visible, getting into those classrooms more often. And it's an hour a week. Is an hour a week a lot? Yes and no. But, you know, it. It's about intention and it's about how important this is to you, and it's about how much you want to feel that way on the last day of school that, yes, I did accomplish those things. Um, and so we're going to decide what they are, and then we're going to schedule it. And then the last thing that we'll do, and this will be repeated in question number two. And question three is that once a week, I would suggest either on a Friday afternoon or maybe on a Sunday. But you're going to schedule 15 minutes • and you're going to start a timer • • • and you're going to spend five minutes reflecting on each of the three questions. Five minutes times three, 15 minutes. And you're going to ask yourself, you know, check in with yourself, how's it Going, • um, you're going to celebrate the small wins. You're going to course correct if needed. Because if you • • just decide that you're going to do the thing, • • but then you don't ever check up or check in or track it or • make adjustments or celebrate, when you actually do get into that classroom, then this isn't going to have any staying power and it's not going to happen. And so, um, question number one, how do you want to feel on the last day of school? And we're going to pick two things. We're going to put them into our schedule, and then at the end of the week, once a week, we're going to take a few minutes to reflect and then, um, • celebrate, or course, correct as needed. • • • •

Okay, question number two • is, on the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my mental health and physical health? • • So now let's talk about you for a moment. • • Um, you know, as school leaders, it's easy to put everything and everyone before yourself. I was just talking to a coaching client this morning, and I asked her, I said, so are you at the bottom of the list or are you just not on the list? Because it was one or the other. And so that is kind of true about us, but it's not a good thing for our mind and our body and for the sustainability of this hard job that we do. And so if you're not taking care of yourself, it's impossible • • to • lead effectively and it's, um, impossible to have • • a good finish to the school year or a good 20, 25. • • And listen, you are your most valuable asset. You know, you can get another house, • • you could get another car, you could get new clothes, • • you could get all new furniture in your house. If, you know, there, if something happened, • • • • • here's the thing, there's only one you. • • • • You can't get another you. • • • And by extension, you know, you only have one family, your loved ones, your spouse, your partner, your kids, your friends. • • And so • • we need to focus on how you want to feel about your mental health and physical health. So again, let's do the visualization and then let's do the actionable strategy. And a reminder that this will all be in a worksheet that you can just use to, um, go through this thought exercise • • and then operationalize it. And that'll be in the show notes. • So you're sitting at your desk. It's the last day of school, the teachers have left, the kids have left. That's starting to get quiet in the building, and you're going to • ask yourself, • • • • • • how do, how do I feel? How do I feel physically? How do I feel mentally? Do you want to feel energized and clear headed and strong, physically strong • • and feel healthy? Feel that, feel that energy. Do you want to feel mentally balanced and able to handle stress better than before? Do you want to feel a little less anxious? • • I mean, these things are possible. • • Um, I'm confident that they're possible. I know that that sounds like a pipe dream, but they're possible. So what's our strategy? So • • you're going to list your • • • health non negotiables. • • And again, I said before in question number one, I think we need to start small. Don't list 15 things that you're going to do about your health. Pick two. • • • And so maybe it is, • • • • • • um, • • • • • going to bed at a certain time • • • and um, • • maybe it's drinking more water during the day. Okay? • • Um, so pick two non negotiables for your health, • • • um, and then block off time, • • • • put it into your schedule so that this happens. So for example, one of the reasons that most of us don't go to bed when we should to get the amount of sleep that we want or that we need is because we don't start getting ready for bed at a given time. We're always surprised. Oh, I didn't realize it was so late. • Whether we're working, whether we're watching something on tv, um, • • you know, whatever it might be. And so • • to put into your schedule at X time, you know, the little reminder goes off and that's, you know, you starting your nighttime routine to get ready for bed. And some of you have a 30 second nighttime routine and some have a much longer one. But whatever it is, • • um, if that's in your calendar, you're going to get more sleep, bottom line. And then also, you know, moving your body, um, I've not been that consistent when it comes to • • exercise. • • Um, but • • you know, moving your body, even at school you can kill two birds with one stone. If you put into your schedule you want to be more visible and you want to pop into classrooms. You know, we all get kind of trapped in our office but just being up and moving, you know, my office is on the third floor and so that requires a lot of steps. Um, um, and you know, just getting up and, and getting moving around, um, um, in the building. But that's not going to happen unless we schedule it. Um, um. • • And so we're gonna, you know, make it realistic. We're gonna only pick two and then we're going toa schedule it, and that's the physical health. And then for mental health, • • um, I, um, just would say to be. • • For being reactive. • • Um, um, • • that when things happen and we're all stressed out and, and the fight or flight kicks in, the autonomic nervous system gets dysregulated. That we're going to get better at regulating our autonomic nervous system. So some, some breathing, some mindfulness, um, um, a dec caastrophizing worksheet, • um, drinking water first thing in the morning when you get up, when you're the most dehydrated. All of those things can help regulate your autonomic nervous system. So that's reactive and then proactive. Um, I would say to start a gratitude practice. Gratitude, • • um, has so many • positive benefits for your physical and your mental health. • Um, and so those are just two suggestions. But the bottom line is, is to just think about this question. On the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my mental health and physical health? • • Remember, you're telling someone that this was the best school year, best year of my life, of my career. • • • So what has to be true on the last day of school for you to feel that way about your physical health and your mental health? And when you decide what that is, then you're going to put a couple things into your calendar that will actually make that happen. • • • And then again, • • the final thing that we're going to do with each of these questions • is this. Catch all 15 minutes at the end of the week where we're going to set a timer and check in with yourself and you're going to ask these three questions. You're going to spend five minutes or less on each question to just check in • and celebrate the wins. Correct course, correct if needed. Don't beat yourself up if it's not happening. Just get yourself back on track. • •

And then that brings us to number question number three. • On the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my relationships with my family? • • So we know how draining and how demanding our jobs are. • • • Um, but the relationships that matter the most, you know, my relationship with my wife, with my daughters, • • um, • • • they're so, so important to my overall well being. And the same is true for you, • • whoever is in your inner circle, whoever is your • • family, your loved ones. • • And so I want you again to visualize the last day of school. • • You're at your desk, the teachers have left, • • the students have left, started their summer break • and you're sitting there and the school'starting to get quiet. • • • How do you want to feel • • • about • • your loved ones. Do you want to feel like you're connected and that you've been present with your loved ones? • • • You certainly don't want to feel that guilt that you've experienced in the past with not, you know, the school invading so much time that you just can't be present. • • • Um, • and, you know, do you, do you want to feel like you've spent intentional time nurturing those relationships and being more effective at balancing • • • • • work and home and all your responsibilities? Listen, I have regrets • • about, you know, the time that I didn't spend with my wife, that I didn't spend with my daughters, • • and that got better because I got more intentional. But I don't want you to have those regrets. And so we're going to ask ourselves that question • • and then we're going to do something about it. So a couple of suggestions. • • When you decide • • how you want to feel, • • • • • • then you have to ask yourself, okay, what would make that possible? • And again, it has to do with your calendar. So I think one of the biggest ways to do this is to schedule • • intentional device free time into your schedule with your loved ones. And I think the device free part is key • because our smartphones are the electronic leash and the portal to all of the work at school • and it's always with us. And that means that it's just one tap away from being in your email inbox • or, you know, doing things, doing work for school. • • And I know that everyone's at a different season in their leadership journey. Everyone has a different sized school, everyone has a different sized team from one to many. • • Um, • and that, you know, • • • one size doesn't fit all when it comes to what's possible when it comes to your ability to be present at home. • • • But it's really, really important for us to put away our phone and to avoid school emails for at least a portion of the weeknight and the weekend • and to focus on that time with our loved ones, our spouse, our partner, our children. • • • Um, maybe you have an elderly parent that lives with you. • • • Um, we don't want to have those regrets. And so • how are we going to do this? Well, you're just going to decide how do I want to feel on that day? • • • Get specific • • • on that last day of school • • and then decide • • • • one thing that you're going to do and put it in your calendar. And I, if you're, if you're struggling for a suggestion on that one thing, • • to schedule in some device free free time, maybe it's the first hour after you get home, • • um, and then you have to Check in with work a little bit, you know, later after you get home. But, um, um, • and, and then, you know, the third or the final thing with each of these three questions is that you're going to schedule 15 minutes at the end of the week • • • where you're going to check in with yourself. You're going to ask these five question these three questions, five minutes per question max. • • And then you're going to celebrate the wins. You're not going to be too hard on yourself if you don't do the thing and then you're going to just get back on track. • • • So the big takeaways are • • we want to • • • • have the best 2025, the best start 2025. We want to have • • • an outstanding second half of our school year. Well, how are we going to do that? Well, first we're going to visualize that it's the last day of school and that you're at your desk and you're going to ask yourself these three questions. • • Number one, on the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my work? How do want to feel about my job at school? • • Number two, on the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my mental health and physical health? • • And number three, on the last day of school, how do I want to feel about my relationships with my loved ones? • • • • • And you're going toa then pick one or two things that you want • • • and schedule it into your calendar and make it a regular thing every week. Every, every day or at least weekly. • And then once a week at the end of the week, you're going to just review and just take some time to reflect and adjust. • • • And you know, a final reminder • • that • • uh, and here's your call to action as well. Um, um, the in the show notes at the privatechool leader.com episode 106. Um, I'll put an easy to use worksheet there that'have the three questions that will help you to just go through this, print it out and just jot some things down and then put it into your calendar. • •

Okay, um, as we wrap up the episode, I want to give you another free gift and that is called 5 Strategies to Help you work with difficult parents. • • And we know that working with parents is part of the job and that most of our parents are great, but some of them can be pretty demanding and emotional and difficult. • And this guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. And so go to the privatescoolade leader.com parents to grab the five strategies to work with difficult parents. • • And then I have one last question for you, and that is, what is your biggest problem at school right now? What's your biggest problem at school? • • Well, I would love to hear more about that and I would love to work with you one on one and help you solve that problem. • • And • • I have uh, a few coaching spots open right now • • and you could set up a free 20 minute. Um, um, get to know you zoom call with me. Um, um, just by going to the privatescl leader.com coaching so that I can hear more about the biggest problem that you're trying to solve. • And I'd love to work with you on that • • • and I'd love to hear from you. You can shoot me an [email protected] and tell me what's the strategy that you've heard on the podcast that you're using and or what's your biggest pain point right now? • • • And please subscribe to the podcast. • • New episode comes out every week on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, wherever you listen to podcasts. And while you're there listening, if you would rate and review the podcast, it helps the algorithm push it out as suggested content to, uh, • Private school leaders all over the world. • And I've been your host, Mark Mincus. I just want to say how much I appreciate you and the amazing work that you're doing at your school. • Thank you so much for taking some of your precious time to join me here today and I will see you next time right here on the Private School Leader podcast. And until then, always remember to serve first, lead second, and make a difference.