Episode 56: Do This When You Feel Like Giving Up

Episode 56 Show Notes


8 things to do when you feel like giving up:


1 Remember that there is nothing wrong with you.


  • Being a private school leader is REALLY HARD
  • Acceptance
  • When you’re able to see the situation clearly, as it is, you give yourself an opportunity to make a choice about how to move forward. 
  • Acceptance is the opposite of giving up. It’s an active decision to meet life where it is and decide on your next step from there. 
  • Human being not a robot
  • You are not weak, you are not a loser

2 Believe that there are ways to make it better.

  • Hopeless to hope
  • Is it even possible?
  • Emotions: Amygdala hijack 
  • The things on this list will help you get to a point where you can be a little more logical

3 Lean into your why

  • When it all feels hopeless, we need to remember why we are doing what we do
  • Throwing Starfish
  • Aspirational or practical?
  • I have a mortgage and my kids need new shoes and Christmas is coming
  • When you have to do a hard thing, you need a reason that is bigger than yourself.
  • When you have to do a hard thing, you need a reason that is bigger than circumstances.

4 Practice Gratitude 

  • The last thing you feel like doing, best thing for you
  • Take out a piece of paper
  • Write down things that you’re grateful for
  • When I do this: wife, each daughter, myself, health, home, 2 cars, job


5 Take a break


  • You CAN run a car without any oil and it will run for a while. But then it will just stop.
  • You can do the same thing to yourself, eventually you will just stop


  • I told you about that Wednesday morning when I couldn't get out of bed.
  • I stayed home that day.
  • “I can’t just stay home.” “Impossible” “The school will fall apart if I’m not there.”
  • I used to think that way: ulcers, mental health, relationships
  • Don’t beat yourself up. It is just a day


  • What if it were not a day, but it was 15 minutes?
  • A brisk walk around campus
  • Listening to your favorite song
  • Reading something inspirational


6 Ask for help

  • One of the hardest things for private school leaders to do
  • Pride, ego, imposter syndrome
  • I have it all together, I am superhuman, I am invincible


  • Who?
  • Boss, (HOS or board president)
  • Spouse or partner?
  • Teacher (Keyboarding program)
  • Therapist (Virginia)

7 Pick two energizers

  • One thing that energizes you at school
  • One thing that energizes you at home
  • 15-30 minutes, SCHEDULE IT, DO IT
  • 30 minutes is 5% of a 10 hour work day
  • 30 minutes is 2% of a 24 hour day
  • I really wish that I had more time to ________________
  • I haven’t done _______________ in a really long time.
  • It really fills me up and energizes me when I ____________________
  • Coaching clients, baking bread, paddleball league, walk 3X/week


8 Look at your positive comments document

  • Episode 37 Portfolio
  • Positive comments Googledoc
  • Read it


Call to Action


  • The next time that you feel like giving up, get out a piece of paper and start writing down everything in your life that you are thankful for.


CLICK HERE for Episode 1: How To Go From SURVIVING to THRIVING


CLICK HERE for Episode 13: How Gratitude Can Make You A Happier And More Effective Leader


CLICK HERE for Episode 37: This ONE THING ill Make You A Happier And Better Compensated Leader


I want to say thank you for listening to the podcast by giving you a FREE GIFT. It is called The 7 Steps To Having Successful Meetings With Upset Parents. This guide is an 11 page pdf that gives you a step by step plan to have better meetings with the parents at your school. Every good coach has a game plan. Every good teacher has a lesson plan. Too many private school leaders don’t have a plan when they sit down to meet with an upset parent. Well, now you have a PLAN! CLICK HERE to get the guide!!


I’ve created a free resource for you called “The 6 Things That Every Private School Teacher Wants From Their Leader”. This guide is a 6 page pdf that will be a game changer for you. I guarantee you that if you do these 6 things, the teachers at your school will be happy to follow you. CLICK HERE to get the guide!


I want to give you a gift to say “thank you” for listening to the podcast. I have created a FREE guide for you called “5 Strategies To Help You Work With Difficult Parents”. We know that working with parents is part of the job and most of our parents are great, but some of them can be very demanding and emotional and difficult. This guide will give you the tools that you need to build better relationships and have better meetings with the difficult parents at your school. CLICK HERE to grab the guide. Thank you again for listening every week!


I’ve created another FREE RESOURCE for you called “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. This is a 10 page pdf that will help you to keep your staff and students safe and help keep your school out of court. Litigation is expensive, time consuming and extremely stressful. This common sense guide will help you to be more intentional and proactive when it comes to protecting your school. You can CLICK HERE to get “The Top 6 Ways To Protect Your School From a Lawsuit”. Thanks!


If you implement any of these strategies at your school, I would love to hear from you! Send me a quick note at [email protected] and tell me about it. I can answer your questions and I’m also good at giving pep talks when you get stuck!


If you have gotten value from listening to the podcast, I would love to work with you 1-on-1. I would love to take my experience and help you to feel less overwhelmed and frustrated or help you have success if you are a brand new leader. I also work with private school leaders who are aspiring Heads of School and want to accelerate their leadership growth or experienced leaders that are moving on to a new school and they want to get off to a great start. If I’m describing you, then CLICK HERE to learn more about working with me 1-on-1.


CLICK HERE for a bunch of free resources, including Plug & Play PD's (video webinars with guided notes) for you to use with your teachers, Top Lists of Leadership Books, Productivity Books, TED Talks and much more!


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